Phone Companies X, Y and Z

Well, yesterday I spent four hours at the mall visiting well known western phone company Y (instead of less well known phone company X, which only allows me to call other people with X phones).  Why?  Because someone told me that I could use my tablet (which a tech person had removed my chip from) by getting a Company Y chip.  Yes. . . here it goes: 

STEP ONE:  get a ticket and wait in line thirty minutes.  Add ten minutes for seeking a person who speaks English.  In theory.  Show her your tablet, the chip that is out and ask if a new chip will allow me to use it.  Spend 6000 HUF ($30) to get a chip.  She installs it and says it works.  I walk outside.  The tablet doesn't work at all.  Strange Hungarian search engine appears.  Doesn't open.

STEP TWO:   get a ticket and wait in line thirty minutes.  Add ten minutes for English.  Two men ask me when I bought this chip.  I show them my papers and say ONE HOUR AGO.  I point to the girl and say Girl No. Five in Hungarian.  They mutter in Hungarian and pull things in and out of my tablet.  They open another tablet and put it beside my own so that they know what the English setting equivalents are.  This takes a long time.  They begin to sound like two Russian mobsters whispering about a future white slave.  They finally politely tell me to go to to some guys the next mall over (One of those computer kiosks in the mall hall  like our Verizon and T-Mobile companies).  They assure me that they can unlock my chip.  I begin to realize my error.  Regrets grow.    

STEP THREE:  walk to the next (connected) mall.  Go to the computer guy at the kiosk.  He is obviously the SMART COMPUTER GUY for everyone.  He looks at me in disbelief and asks me who sent me.  He tells me FIRMLY in English AND Hungarian it is NOT possible to unlock it.  This confirms the severity of my mistake. 

STEP FOUR:  walk back to Company Y.  LEAN OVER THE SIGN IN TOUCH SCREEN WITH MY ENTIRE BODY (especially boobs) to get attention.  The men from Step 3 are no longer anywhere to be found.  Finally I move, having mercy on the nice Hungarians behind me who probably wonder what the hell I am doing.  The girl who helps you print a number just laughs and hands me YET another number.   I still stand close to the sign in touch screen.  Finally the two guys realize they have to emerge and come back.  They tell me I can't have my money back.  I tell them that I want my money back.  They tell me impossible.   One tells me he doesn't even work for Company Y that he is from Company Z and just over here helping.  I tell him I don't care.  I tell him that HE told me that that girl spoke English.  The girl did NOT ask me if my tablet was locked or that she could not have it unlocked.  He said I should have a phone number with my tablet.  I said no phone number and that is irrelevant.  I said I told the young LADY NO FIVE that I only need the tablet for email skype and a bit of internet.  She said this would be possible if I paid for 1 GB charge plus card charge plus etc etc.  We are at a stalemate.  Finally, I say that I know they can resell this chip and that if they give me most of my money back, they can sell it to a friend and we both will be ok.  The die is cast.  After much mumbling, I am returned to GIRL NUMBER FIVE and she gives me a little more than half my money back. 

I figure it is a good enough solution for a woman who speaks almost no Hungarian.  Or, as the bank lady said within my earshot today -- this woman speaks absolutely no Hungarian.    :)